Korfbal – ‘Scully’

“We can never have a conversation if you never pick up your phone

Oh how the days have passed since the last time we spoke

We can never have a conversation if you disregard your phone

Those men will take you places, and the last place is home


With the subtle cockiness of Parquet Courts and the rampant vibrancy of a late-adolescent Dave Grohl, Holland(ais)ers Korfbal schmuck you up with their recent ode to the spirit of summertime drag races, sir ‘Scully.’

Perfect for a road-raging sailor-mouthed moment and the corresponding head-slap of sticky-pitted “forgot the deodorant” passenger, Scully is the instigator on the horizon, the externally visible and exacerbatingly motivating modern-day derivative of the meek right shoulder’s satanic spawn. She snickers in the distance in the most irritating way possible, occasionally employing traditional techniques such as possession of sentient bodies including the “I MUST push past to achieve my world-record Tube dash” lad and the occasional Negroni-sipper.

While some may accuse Scully of “playing the game,” I know her phone mishaps in particular to shed light more so on her “go hard or go home” rambunctiousness, where the direct proportionality of rambunctiousness (x) on Scully “disregard[ing] [her] phone” also depends on additionally influencing factors including but not limited to her own individual’s current caffeine-to-yoga ratio, the grooviness of the ubiquitous baseline, and/or the perceived peskiness of the contact in question…

So really, children of today, lest you worry about the evolution of the devil’s genus, rest assured that today’s modern-day Scully is more so restless than malintentioned, and will impart nothing more on you (and your (super)ego) than increased latency in mobile phone-based rallys and the occasional benignly jacket-pocked charging cable.

See you in Montreal!


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