Luby Sparks ‘Pop 1979’

I really hate commuting. Actually, correction: I hate commuters. My journey to and from work would be blissful if it wasn’t for other people – and if you’re sat there wondering if I am a misanthrope, the answer is a unequivocal ‘yes’. Taking public transport anywhere comes with a set of unspoken laws that we must all abide by if we are to complete our journeys without being driven to a bloodthirsty rampage somewhere between Wembley Stadium and Baker Street, so it astounds me that there are people out there who either don’t know or don’t care to follow them. For example, I was literally crushed against a window yesterday as the man sat next to me was taking up so much room with his stupid pointy elbows and knees – this is what we millennials like to call ‘manspreading’. Before I’m inundated with cries of ‘but not all men’, let me make clear that women too can be ignorant of people’s personal space, but I am yet to be squished into a corner by a women airing her sweaty balls on the tube by way of spreading her legs as far as humanely possible. NOBODIES WILLY IS THAT BIG. Nobody, and I mean nobody, needs a metre of space in between each knee, whether you’re hung like a donkey or a Shetland pony. If you are guilty of this, hand yourself into authorities immediately – or you could alternatively peruse my makeshift 10 commandments of public transport:

  1. Thou shalt not bestrew thyself upon thy neighbours land
  2. Thou shalt not consume thy McDonalds in the Hour Of Rush
  3. Thou shalt not catcall, harrass, or otherwise pester thy neighbour
  4. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s newspaper
  5. Thou shalt respect thy elders and let them sitteth upon thy seat
  6. Thou shalt not manspread
  7. Thou shalt not taketh luggage in the Hour Of Rush
  8. Thou shalt not maketh small talk with they neighbour
  9. Thou shalt not embarketh before thy neighbours leave the train
  10. Thou shalt not be a dick

If you do not follow these commandments, may you be struck down by a plague-carrying tube rat and be damned to the eternal hellfire of Oxford Circus in the summer. Anyway, now that my rant is over, I’d like to introduce the latest single ‘Pop 1979‘ from Japanese pop-rock band Luby Sparks. Chock-full of jangly fuzz-ridden guitars, relentless drums, and kitschy vocals, this upbeat little number is sure to get you through even the worst of commutes. Enjoy.

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